Monday, August 29, 2016

Well, That Didn’t Go According to Plan

I’m hardly an expert on choosing and wearing a male chastity device. I’ve worn a few (mostly cheaper knock-offs from Amazon) over the last two years, enough to get an idea of what will work for me and what won’t, what the sizing and spacing should be, basically all the things I’ll need to know when I finally purchase a high-quality device (or “the real one,” as I’ve come to think of it). And enough to know that I can go several days and nights wearing one without having to take it off. Hell, I even made it through a root canal wearing an earlier cage, so I honestly thought this week in a cage while my wife is away would be only minor problems at worst.

Things did not go according to plan.

Our current device, a Bird Cage type, looks great and even feels great, generally. A bit of a struggle to get the base ring on at times, because much like my experience with clothing, I’m apparently in between the available prefab ring sizes. One that goes on more easily doesn’t really hold the device in place, and one that holds the device securely doesn’t go on easily. Still, it can be done with a little patience. And given that I never even wore a cage until I was 50, I can do patience.

The gap between the base ring and the cage is more snug than I’d prefer, but it definitely makes for a secure hold. And I’d never had any problems with it before, no matter how many hours I’d worn it. The metal bars, allowing absolutely no leeway, felt wonderfully confining as well. I like the reminder the weight provides, too. Plastic or silicone just don’t hold that same charge for me.

Truthfully, I’d doubted I could manage wearing this thing the whole time my wife was away. She did, too, clearly. Lack of WiFi and cell reception at Burning Man wasn’t the only reason she left the key easily available.

Still, by the end of the first evening, I’d mostly forgotten the device was even on. A couple of vanilla life surprises kept me distracted that night, true, but it seemed a good start.

The night was uncomfortable. I woke up around 2:30 AM, and the tight spacing between the base ring and the bottom of the cage opening felt like it was rubbing me raw. I’d never spent a full night in this cage, but I’d dealt with discomfort wearing the last one, and I knew that the nights grew progressively easier. So, I bulled my way through it, got back to sleep, but woke up again around 5 AM.

This time, I felt beyond raw. Definitely beyond the previous “getting used to it” problems. Something was off, somewhere. And no matter how much I wanted this experience, part of me knew better. I got up, found the key, and took off the cage.

It felt like a defeat. Or like the candy you’d been promised turned out to be expired.

I tried things again the next afternoon. It was the easiest time I’d ever had putting it on, too, and there were no real problems throughout the rest of that day and evening. Other than that huge round of arousal late in the evening, of course. The cage itself was very tight and constricting (despite being a bit longer than ideal) and a constant reminder that my sexual release is dependent on someone else’s permission now. Sure, it would have been easy enough to just take it off again, but that would have defeated the point and made the lure of a disallowed orgasm even more tempting. And all the discomfort I was feeling clearly fell into the “good” pain category, unlike the night before.

I woke up several times during the second night, too, and felt more discomfort each time, until the cage and I hit a repeat of the previous night, and I took it off again.

Candy. Baby. Taken Away. You get the picture.

That was when I finally noticed that the gap between the cage and the base ring isn’t just narrow, it’s angled slightly inward. I don’t remember seeing this with any other cage, or maybe I just never paid enough attention to notice before. This cage works fine during the day, but something about lying down for several hours just doesn’t mesh with this thing and its awkward machining and/or engineering.

That was also when I noticed some abrasions on the underside of my shaft, which I also never had with the earlier devices. And strangely, which weren't quite where I'd been feeling that awful discomfort.

Damn it. I want my alone-time fetish-play candy.

It’s been back to the “Honor System” since then. Which is disappointing, because there’s an odd comfort I feel when wearing a device, like some true part of myself is getting fed or expressed. Clearly, I need to drop the bigger bucks for “the real one,” if and when the new house ever stops demanding my every spare dollar.

Maybe the house needs a cage itself, to finally make it behave as well as I’m trying to...


  1. ouch. Trying to sleep in one of those things is very painful.


    1. The earlier cage was actually fairly comfortable to sleep in by the third night (assuming I didn't roll over onto my stomach during my sleep, that is). This current one is definitely a short-term cage, though. There's sleeping discomfort, and then there's DISCOMFORT, you know?

  2. I would like the fetish play rather than just the honor system, and oddly the honor system is harder for me.

    1. The honor system is harder for me, too, and definitely not my first choice.

      Which are also exactly the reasons why my wife is choosing it, at least for now.

  3. This is a really interesting read. While it is not my kink I do like reading and understanding other peoples kinks. I think it is great when people write about the challenges and the 'failures' for want of a better word because it reflects the reality of real life


    1. Much I love reading other people's kink success stories, how they deal with "kink failures" is even more interesting to me. Maybe because I have a LOT of kink failures under my belt... so to speak... :)