Wednesday, April 20, 2016

The Current Terms of Our Marriage

How to write a contract for a non-24/7 yet 24/7, sort-of Female-Led Relationship? How do you make sure both people get what they need, but in a way that avoids undue pressure on either one to live up to an extended list of minor details and specific instructions and also preserves the vanilla side of a rather complex, 15-year relationship? And more than anything, how do you allow room for your wife to put her own stamp on things, and run it all at the pace she feels comfortable with, when you’ve thought and fantasized about just this for so very, very long?

That was my dilemma not so many weeks ago. And this is what we signed...

AGREEMENT AND UNDERSTANDING OF NEEDS

     Recognizing that each party has specific needs that must be met in order to feel secure and attached in the relationship overall, and that these needs should be met in ways that both parties are comfortable with, Diane Kepler and Declan Heyse agree to the following:

A. Declan:

     1. ACCEPTS that Diane needs a dependable, solid, and reliable partner she can lean on in order to feel secure and attached in the relationship as a whole and fully herself, and WILL strive to provide that.

     2. WILL remain a husband, NOT a slave, in all areas of the relationship beyond this agreement.

     3. WILL NOT “top from the bottom,” but WILL ask for what he wants.

     4. WILL NOT orgasm, for any reason, at any time, without explicit permission from Diane.

     5. WILL immediately confess any orgasm experienced, for any reason, without Diane’s permission.

     6. UNDERSTANDS and ACCEPTS that abuse of authority may occur.

     7. MAY NOT terminate this agreement.

B. Diane:

     1. ACCEPTS that Declan needs a partner who is sexually controlling, selfish, and at times even cruel in order to feel secure and attached in the relationship as a whole and fully himself, and WILL strive to provide that.

     2. WILL remain a wife, NOT an owner, in all areas of the relationship beyond this agreement.

     3. MAY, but is NOT obligated to, overtly enforce the provisions of this agreement in whatever manner she chooses.

     4. WILL limit the number of orgasms Declan experiences, and MAY, but is NOT obligated to, require that his orgasm be achieved in a specific manner.

     5. WILL punish, in whatever manner she chooses, any orgasm that Declan experiences, for any reason, without permission.

     6. MAY, but is NOT obligated to, impose any specific conditions or requirements she chooses in order for permission to be granted.

     7. MAY terminate this agreement at any time, but also UNDERSTANDS and ACCEPTS that an adjustment period may be necessary.

C. Agreed to:

Diane Kepler
Declan Heyse

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