Thursday, March 3, 2016

The Birth—and Death—of a Kick-Ass Role Play

The Birth of a Kick-Ass Role Play:

1) Realizing that after two weeks, you and your wife finally have a shot at "couple time."

2) The day before, having a detailed scenario pop into your head that pushes all of your collective marital buttons.

3) The day of, discovering that you both have every single thing on your wish lists for the ultra-realistic costumes required.

4) Spending two days eagerly awaiting the chance to relive the kind of role play fun you both enjoyed when first dating each other.

5) Having not just another writer as your partner, but a better writer as your partner.

The Death of a Kick-Ass Role Play:

1) Early on, the computer playing the necessary music experiencing some kind of driver conflict, and the sound dying, abruptly and completely. Of course, this happens at a point when neither of you can stop to fix it without breaking character and utterly destroying the mood and headspace you've just spent so much time carefully creating.

2) Having the wanna-be DJ who lives in the apartment belowand who has informed you of the exact retail price for every single item in his apartment, as if you really caredstart a screaming fight with his wife directly underneath you. Or at least, you think it's a screaming fight. You can't say for sure, because their normal speaking volume is the volume of a screaming fight in your own WASP-ish experience.

3) During this argument/conversation, having the wanna-be DJ's kids inexplicably fire up the Xbox 360 (he overpaid), which like the family's massive big-screenand big-speakeredTV just happens to be located in the bedroom directly beneath you rather than in the living room, which instead is a rarely used sitting room/parlor filled with furniture for which you unfortunately know the exact retail price of every single piece (he overpaid).

4) While still trying not to break character, thumping the floor with your boot, which instead of delivering the intended message to the apartment below is somehow misinterpreted by everyone down there as a slight/insult/diss delivered by someone else in that room, and which then has the unintended consequence of the kids now screaming back at their still-screaming parents, as well as several unidentifiable thumps and bangs and thuds now shaking their ceiling/your floor.

5) Once you and your wife finally resign yourselves and give up, the entire downstairs apartment, of course, goes utterly quiet. And stays that way for the rest of the night.

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