Friday, August 17, 2018

In The Kitchen

Me: “I could swear I just heard you say pre-cum in that list of ingredients.”

My Wife: “Paprika! Pap-RI-ka!”

Tuesday, June 12, 2018

Don’t Laugh and Let Her Win

Me: “Stop that. Be a lady.”

My Wife: “He says, fifteen years later.”

Me: [Don’t laugh and let her win. Don’t laugh and let her win. Oh, shit. I’m laughing...]

Wednesday, June 6, 2018

“The Vanilla Game”

Or, the Prologue to “Amazons of Icehelm”...

After the low-level grinding had been done and the crypts had been cleared, the damsels saved and the villains brought to justice, the side quests completed and the main storyline finished, I flicked my eyes at the floating Yes beneath the Continue Gaming? query hanging in the air before me. Then I fast traveled back to my favorite home in Jarlhold, where my Non-Player Character wife and daughter, as always, awaited my triumphant return.

Wind rushed against my face as the scenery flowed past at breakneck speed, the VR roads and strongholds racing by and the experience so much better than the old fade-out and fade-in of the last game in the franchise. I hadn’t been sure my processors could handle it, but the new-generation game engine rocked, so much so that I had actually lost my bulked-up balance and fallen flat on my in-game nose the first few times I’d finally reached my destination. Even so, I still turned my head as the movement slowed and the heavy wooden door to my house came at my face, slow enough now to see clearly but still fast enough to worry the part of me that remembered all too well I was still just a jacked-in gamer at home and a good hundred pounds lighter in reality.

“Whoa,” I said, as the inside of my favorite home snapped into solidity around me, like a rubber band whacking my face. “Best. Game. Ever.”

“Is that you, husband?” Elsa, my wife, called down from the loft, quickly followed by “Father!” from our adopted daughter, Ilsa, her bare feet slapping against the wooden floor as she padded closer, then stopped to stare up in wide-eyed adoration at me, Kennanus the Magnificent, her conquering and heroic father, back from questing and now ready to sell all the loot, read the in-game books the length of short stories, and bask in our idyllic fantasy family life.

Until I saw the dire badger in the young girl’s arms, that is. “Ilsa,” I said, putting my best warrior grumble into that deep voice I wished I had in reality, “what the fuck are you doing with a dire badger?”

Monday, June 4, 2018

The Forgotten Fetish

Although technical marvels in their time…

…“vore-yeurism” clips never really found a market niche, and the fetish was soon forgotten.

Friday, June 1, 2018

“Éclair” by Hugo Keijzer

A first date, a fantasy, and a contract lead to a smart and interesting short film:

I probably would have done the same thing, in his place.

Wednesday, May 30, 2018

A Moment in Kink History, Part IV

While early CFNM films essentially paralleled those of today…

…the rehearsals before shooting were far more elegant and dapper affairs.

Monday, May 28, 2018

Amazons of Icehelm

First comes the vanilla playthrough. Then come the mods.

Kinky, sexy, NSFW mods. Enough to turn the entire game into his own personal fetish playground.

Mods don’t always play nice with each other, though. Or with the vanilla game. Especially in full-immersion VR.

WARNING: This book contains mature themes, explicit adult content, satire, LitRPG humor, Amazons, gamer snark, more Amazons, bondage, discipline, Femdom, sex spiders (yes, they will have sex with you), tentacles, chastity crabs, still more Amazons, and other shit that should really be tagged.

Available at Amazon.