Thursday, February 23, 2017

And Back in the Cage I Go

My wife has been at home on a sabbatical for half a year. That’s a lot of togetherness when you also work from a home office. But it also made enforcing our contract much easier. Especially when my restraint from orgasms has usually been a matter of will power, or the honor system. Rebellion at least seemingly has different consequences when she’s right there, after all.

That will power is harder to muster when she’s not around, though, especially when I hit the seven-day or later mark of her denial. Maybe because of those ever-present “I could get away with it” thoughts, even if I know the guilt would get me later. Or maybe because when she is around during the day, there’s always the hope that she’ll grant permission, so the pressure lessens a bit.

The last few months, I could also—and have—text or call and ask for permission when she’s been out. Only once can I remember the answer being “yes,” but the possibility was there. And she was generally available to respond. And quickly.

This week, my wife went back to her own office. And the cage went back on.

For me, the Ghost 300 may not work 24/7 beyond two days or so, but it does work wonderfully for a day. Like yesterday. When she asked if I needed the cage to avoid “slipping up,” given that we’re well past the seven-day mark at the moment and that she’ll rarely be able to respond to a call or text with any kind of promptness now. So I was honest, and told her I needed it.

So the cage went on, right before she left for the day. And it didn’t come off until we both crawled into bed for the night, last night. Not that I even bothered to ask for permission, given the day I knew she would have on the morrow and the uninterrupted sleep that she would need. Admittedly, 30 minutes of unsatisfied erection later, I was reconsidering that decision. Not that I would have dared wake her up at that point.

And the cage went on this morning also, again right before she left.

The feeling is different this time compared to the others. I do still have that heightened sense of and focus on her, of course. Each hug or touch or even casual brush of an arm or a leg is a full body and mind experience, and damn near overwhelming. And waking up last night at 4 AM with her body against mine had me on the verge of tears, from love as much as frustration, as it has so many times before.

This time, though, I have no idea where the emergency key is. And know that I might not be able to get a quick answer if I need it. We’ve always been more RACK than SSC, but there is a bit of nerve-wracking reality to this now. And the much more powerful feeling that this really is “her” lock on the cage and “her” cage on me.

And sitting here, midway through the second day of this, I’m realizing just how much I’ve craved that feeling. Especially now. We’ve both wondered how the end of her sabbatical would affect this ever-changing dynamic our contract started. And the cage is a minute-by-minute reminder of the control I signed away to her, even if she isn’t actively exercising her authority.

Some part of me knew I would need that, as our schedules changed. Maybe even more than I needed the cage back on to avoid actually “slipping up.”

Part of me hopes this will be a permanent rule now, too, whenever she’s out of the house. Even if another part of me fears it. Because for the first time, I really have no way out of this cage, not unless and until she decides. Just like I always wanted.

Careful what you wish for, right?

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

“How to Train Your Dominatrix”

I may have to find and play this game...

...if only for the hilarious dialogue translations.

Monday, February 20, 2017

Fetish Rewrite XXVI

Her: “I’m from the Agency. Your men are down. Your alarms are disabled. No help is coming. If you want to live, do exactly as I say.”

Him: “Oh, really? Well, you just go right back and tell the Agency that I specifically requested a blonde for this role play. A blonde!

Thursday, February 16, 2017

Elust #91

Welcome to Elust 91-

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you're looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it'll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #92 Start with the rules, come back March 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

Forcing Growth

In Stitches

The Instrument and the Ornament

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Imagine? You Might Wish You Hadn't!

she's picture perfect

~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

Morning Stretch

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

Amber alert
Spanking: Chapter One
'How To' Femdom Series
Play it safe
Formative Kink: "The Happy Hooker"

Erotic Non-Fiction

Follow Your Heart
Humiliating Raylene: Kissing Lynette
THREESOME - prepared
Leaving Questions Unanswered

Sex News, Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Genital shame in the news
Cock and Balls Sling Demonstration


Chastity, No Boner: A Lusty Limerick
Roleplay (inna damp, dark alley)

Erotic Fiction

Portraits of You
Words of Fuck

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Nothing good can come from this
UNCLEAN: Dirty, Sweaty, Filthy, Messy Sex



Wednesday, February 15, 2017

A Moment in Kink History, Part II

Though the exact time and date of the session are no longer known, the phrase “No marks, please” was first uttered by Mr. Elmer Forrest Cagney (likely not his real name) to Mistress “Moll Capone” at the Cook County Speakeasy & Dungeon sometime during the early 1930s.

Mr. Cagney is said to have been in Chicago “for a convention.” Mistress Capone is reported to have charged him extra.

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

The Obligatory Kinky Superbowl Commercial Post

I am not a football fan. In fact, I didn’t know this past Sunday was the Superbowl until, well, this past Sunday. The last time I can remember even giving the NFL any real attention at all was during the Michael Vick days. Because dogs.

Even now, I couldn’t tell you which team won. Though I gather a come-from-behind victory was involved, and that the half-time show again honked off a big chunk of people, if apparently not the chunk I would have expected given Lady Gaga on the stage. 2017, man. It’s enough to make a person nostalgic for a good wardrobe malfunction.

At some point, I even stopped paying attention to the commercials. Fortunately, paltego over at Femdom Resource was paying enough attention to flag a certain T-Mobile ad:

Personally, I like the second one even more, if only because my first job was as a phone rep on a 1-800-number customer service line:

I still remember a lot of callers from those days. And not one of them ever treated me like that.


Monday, February 6, 2017

Fetish Rewrite XXV

That moment you realize the new client’s secret-yet-public scene is at the relocated office of the company you worked for before your current fetish career...

Friday, January 27, 2017

Something Special Wasn’t Quite as Special as I’d Thought

Be a kinkster long enough to reach a certain age, and you get used to the typical cycle that happens with a new kink, or partner, or toy. First, the excited anticipation. Then, the thrills of early success. And after that, the inevitable bumps in the road.

In the end, my experience with the Ghost 300 from Custom Chastity was like that.

Of the few issues that did eventually crop up, I’d actually expected most of them. The gap between the cage and the base ring, for example, would have been better at 13 mm rather than the 10 mm I’d ordered. So the beginnings of skin irritation I experienced in that area are on me. And inside the cage itself, the beginnings of skin irritation on the bottom of the shaft itself, just below the tip, also weren’t quite unexpected. Minor things, these two, and things that Custom Chastity’s later advice regarding gap size, lube, and “manscaping” would most likely take care of.

The main issue I hit turned out to be the design of the cage itself.

Rather than the “straight-line” design shown on their website, the cage I actually received has a pronounced curve on each side (much more sharp and pronounced than any of the other curves on it). Looking down on it from above, this gives an almost “manta ray” appearance. Very artistic, and very cool. As I learned later, this is apparently the new, standard design for the Medium-size Ghost cage. Hopefully, Custom Chastity will update that size-comparison photo and the other Ghost images to reflect this new design, or indicate that at least for the Medium, the Ghost you receive may differ from what you were looking at when ordering.

I actually do love the look of this design, and in all honesty, I still would have ordered and tried the Ghost even if I’d seen those side wings, not expecting the problem they turned out to be for me. That opening on each side is somewhat large, and while my length turned out to be a good fit, my girth is apparently a bit too wide for the Medium. So when any teasing or arousal happens, the attempted erection tries to push the shaft out through and around those openings—and those curved wings just start digging in, especially at the lowest part of each curve. The skin irritation at those locations was of a very different quality and degree than at the others I’ve mentioned, and I quickly realized this design would serious limit the usability of my Ghost 300 to a only day or two at a time.

Not what I was hoping for, obviously. Especially given the price I had paid.

Not surprisingly, this led to a good deal of back and forth with Custom Chastity. The Ghost is an extremely well-constructed product, no question, and the Internet has no lack of people reporting great success with their Custom Chastity products, especially the truly "custom" devices. And it’s entirely possible that my contact at Custom Chastity and I had very different communication styles. Either way, I found the correspondence increasingly frustrating.

Questions needed to be asked more than once before getting an answer, it seemed. The issue of the curved design (the major comfort/wearbility issue for me) also seemed to be dismissed at first, with the comment that nobody else had ever complained. After asking for and reviewing pictures of the cage’s fit on me, their advice (the lube and manscaping mentioned above) ignored the issue with the curves as well, while saying the fit itself looked fine. Two e-mails later, they finally acknowledged my problem with those curves (reiterating that I was the first and only customer to complain about them) and explained it was in fact a girth/fit issue.

To their credit, Custom Chastity did offer to produce a truly custom cage for me at a reduced price. I eventually declined, though, partly out of it simply not being practical for me to spend another large sum so soon after having just spend one, and partly out of frustration with how things had been handled. No one who pays any company more than $200 for something wants to feel like their major problem with the product is either being dismissed (as I felt happened at the start) or ignored (as I felt happened in their advice). Especially when the original design still shown on their website may well have mitigated the issue and provided more wearability.

In the end, I can’t really recommend a Custom Chastity device, given my own experience. But I also can’t really not recommend one, either, given the obvious quality construction of their products and the success and good experiences others I know have had. I may well be an outlier here, or just a bad customer/supplier match versus their usual clientele. That does happen, sometimes.

And unfortunately.